Coming Through Slaughter Closed Reading I

"He found himself on the Brewitts' lawn. She opened the door. For a moment he looked right through her, almost forgot to recognize her. Started shaking, from his stomach up to his mouth, he could not hold his jaws together, he wanted to get the words to Robin or Jaelin clearly. Whichever one answered the door. But it was her. Her hand wiping the hair off her face. He saw that, he saw her hand taking her hair and moving it. His hands were in his coat pockets. He wanted to burn the coat it stank so much. Can I burn this coat here? that was not what he wanted to say. Come in Buddy. That was not what he wanted to say. His whole body started to shake. He was looking at one of her eyes. But he couldn't hold it there because of the shake. She started to move towards him he had to say it before she reached him or touched him or smelled him had to say it. Help me. Come in Buddy. Help me. Come in Buddy. Help me. He was shaking. " (pg 45)

From this passage we get an interesting look at the person who is Buddy Bolden. Bolden seems to be a man of conflicting emotions, for not long before he stated he never wanted to see anyone he knew ever again, (39) and yet he appears on the Brewitts' front lawn. As Robin opened the door Bolden "looked right through her", from this it can be inferred that Bolden is distracted or has something on his mind. He clearly went to their house for a reason due to the fact he wanted to "get out the words clearly" he needed to tell the Brewitts something important, yet he forgets to even acknowledge who she even is. As the passage continues to describe the way Robin removed the hair from her face, it can be understood that Bolden was watching her and her movements. "He saw that" this is repeated and this can show that his observation was important. Earlier in the text Bolden had seen Robin naked which seemed to be a defining moment in their relationship, the way he notices her here may show that he may have more than friendly feelings towards Robin. As stated earlier Bolden was at their house for a reason to tell the Brewitts something important, but instead of saying what he intended he proceeds to say, "can I burn my coat here?" This can be seen as an sign of deflection and nervousness. It can be seen later in the passage that Bolden really wanted to say "help me" which may have been something he was ashamed of, he doesn't want to admit that he needs help.